My Love.
You have been away for about a week.
And I have been without you for too long.
You reappeared in my life quite unexpectedly
At a time when I needed you.
As we renewed our friendship I began to see a side of you that I had not known.
The “grownup” person that you had become in those long years apart.
The man that had been forged from the boy.
The one person who completed me.
Soothed my soul,
And captured my heart.
My friend.
My life.
My Love.
What do I tell my heart
When it no longer hears yours beating
What do I tell my skin
When it no longer feels your warmth
What do I tell my lips
When they no longer taste your breath
What do I tell my fingers
When they no longer touch your hand
What do I tell my eyes
When they no longer gaze upon your face
What do I tell my soul
When it no longer senses yours
Do I tell myself that you gave me as much as you were able
Do I tell myself that I should treasure the time we had because it was like nothing experienced before
Do I tell myself that I am blessed for having loved and been loved by you
Do I tell myself that the pain was unintentional and deeply regretted
Do I tell myself that we never meant for it to happen so we’re not to blame for closing our eyes to the fact that it HAD to end
Do I lie and tell myself that I will be okay
What do I tell myself
Oh God, what do I tell my heart
Tell me
I held back
Just one little part of me 
It was my safety net
The little flaw in our relationship
So that when I lost you
I wouldn’t have lost perfection.
I didn’t even know that I was doing it
Until you broke through that last wall.
It wasn’t intentional
But it was crucial
For now that I have surrendered that too
When I lose you
I will have lost everything.
Do you remember the HBO series “Dream On”? It was about a man whose internal monologue occurred as snippets from television shows that he watched as a youth and as an adult. My life seems to follow the same path only my snippets are song lyrics instead of TV lines.
I love music and, as I have mentioned in a prior post, it resonates within me most times and especially when I am feeling particularly emotionally drained or provoked. If I were to be granted one wish, lottery numbers excluded, I would have to wish for that elusive gift of turning emotions into song lyrics that can speak to every person on a personal plane and translates into different meanings for each and every human ear that hears it.
I try from time to time to create something worthy of passing along by writing short poems and posting them here or on my photography blog. I tried writing a song once but my ex found a copy of it and laughed out loud at me so I shredded it and never went back. Sadly, it has taken me fifteen years to get over feeling like someone else has the right to judge my words, and begin to share my feelings again. Also I sometimes worry that when I write I may be recreating someone else’s song in my own words – that my only creative ability lies in regurgitating a song from long ago that meant something to me.
Anyway, back to the music thing….I found myself once again thinking in lyrics when a teacher friend of mine posted her newly cleaned desk with the caption “schools out”. My mind immediately launched into the Alice Cooper classic and I was only able to get rid of it when my son mentioned letting the dogs out. You guessed it….I now have “who let the dogs out?” driving me nuts.
I have been known to quote classic rock lyrics, old-time country lyrics, and yes, even totally inane lyrics from television commercial jingles (curse you Barry Manilow). Luckily for me my children find it amusing or they would have had me locked up years ago. I am going to try to write something of my own now, and maybe you will read it on this site sometime soon.
So – Goodnight, goodnight, until we meet again
Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehn ’til then…..
Come on now, everybody knows the closing theme from the Lawrence Welk show!!!
Songs From the Wood 